Severus Snape and the Towel Girl
by Whitney Rose
Summary: Severus Snape hated it at home... But would Hogwarts really be any better?NOTE: The title is of little significance... Yet. Mwahahaha!
1. Escape

From the writers that brought you such esteemed comedies as "Harry Potter and the Magic Lamp" and "James Potter and the Precious" is "Severus Snape and the Towel Girl!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters. Okay, I take that back. I own... well, you'll see. Anyways, I don't own anything Harry Potter related, with the exception of merchandise and the books. So… I actually own a lot.

A/N 5-17 (2004): The internet is down at the moment, so I'm typing like crazy! Anyways, this story coincides with James Potter and the Precious. I have no idea what to call this one, though. Today one of my friends had a Hogwarts Journal, and it had stuff like, "How to Annoy Muggles" and "The Mark of a Wizard"... we had some interesting answers. PETRIFICUS TOTALUS... Mr. Ahrens! Wooo! Okay, on to typing!

A/N 6-2 (2004): Yes, yes, I know... it's been FOR-EV-ER. I've had a lot going on, with the end of school and going to Branson... Been very hectic, it has. But PoA is coming to theaters on Friday! Anyways, this chapter is now dedicated to the Allow Daisy on the Internet Again fund. ADotIA is looking for donations, petition, and chapter dedications in its honor, for Daisy has been wrongly banned from the internet.

A/N 7-5 (2005): Wow. I realized today that my chapters are extremely messed up, most likely due to lack of attention. Some of you will be glad to hear that we have not given up on writing our stories. In fact, I believe the Magic Lamp is well over 100 pages (though I haven't really asked Beth or Anna…). And I remember the ADotIA thing. Good memories… Too bad that's all sort of over now. But on to happier things! FIXINGNESS! Also, I'm going to abandon the switching authors method. You can just try to guess who wrote what.

**CHAPTER 1: Escape**

Eleven-year-old Severus Snape was ecstatic when he got his Hogwarts letter. Finally, he could get away from this place- he could escape..."GET DOWN HERE, BOY," Severus's father called sharply. "OR ARE YOU SUCH A DUNDERHEAD THAT YOU DON'T REMEMBER OUR VISIT TO KNOCKTURN ALLEY?"

Severus's father said that a lot- Severus was a dunderhead because he did this or did that- Severus would only be fit for a class full of Mudbloods- Severus was a half-wit...  
Down the stairs and about to turn into the hall, Severus stopped before going in, hearing his mother say something about "Diagon Alley-"

"WHAT, THAT NEST OF MUDBLOODS AND MUGGLE-LOVERS? NO, SIR, WE'LL GO TO KNOCKTURN ALLEY. THEY DON'T ATTRACT THAT SORT OF RIFF-RAFF THERE. UNLIKE HOGWARTS- THAT SCHOOL'S GONE DOWN HILL EVER SINCE THAT MUDBLOOD-LOVER, DUMBLEDORE, TOOK OVER- THOUGH WE'LL HAVE TO SEND THE BOY THERE AS HE'S NOT FIT FOR DURMSTRANGE- HALF-WIT, YOU KNOW. I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HE WASN'T EVEN FIT FOR HUFFLEPUFF, AND THEY SENT HIM BACK FROM EVEN THERE-"

Severus's father always shouted. It gave him control over the situation, because no one else could be heard.

I'll show him! I'll prove I'm no half-wit, I'll get into Slytherin, the best in the class- Severus though, but then reality caught up with him. I am a dunderhead. I'll be lucky to get into Hufflepuff. Only the Mudbloods'll be dumber than me-

"GET IN HERE, BOY," snapped his father, and Severus scampered out into the cold gaze of his hook-nosed father. "YES, HE WON'T AMOUNT A THING, THIS ONE," announced Mr. Snape, "COME, BOY," he said, and marched out the door.

They lived only a block from Knockturn Alley, but he wasn't allowed to go alone. He was too stupid and might do something dangerous if not kept under tight control.

Mr. Snape bought only what was necessary and at the cheapest prices. There was no use wasting money on a dunderhead like Severus.

When they got home, Severus stole up to his room with his things, a temporary escape. Well, even if I'm a dunderhead, I can at least learn something for when I go to Hogwarts- he thought. Over the next week, he sat in his room, reading books, memorizing spells, learning how to make potions... it was a good way to escape. He spent less and less time being yelled at and criticized and more and more dreaming of Hogwarts- he would go there, he would be worthy to stay, even if he just barely. He would escape from this house, from the father who treated him like a dog, and the mother who was too weak to stand up to him on anything-

Then he remembered. Dunderhead, he'd think to himself, dreaming doesn't help. Learn it, learn it if you want to be worthy of staying. Even the Mudbloods sometimes stay, or my father wouldn't complain about them. Are you no better than a Mudblood?

They went to the Hogwarts Express early-his parents and him- to go to Hogwarts! Severus's heart beat wildly in excitement. I'm gonna get away, I'm gonna get away!

On the train, everyone was behaving childishly, playing games in the cramped halls, giggling madly, running in circles- what was going on? Maybe he'd got on the car with all the Mudbloods. He wandered around, finally settling in an empty car. His parents had already gone. There was no sense in wasting their valuable time on a dunderhead like him...

When the train finally arrived at Hogwarts, everyone got off. No one prevented Severus- or anyone- What was going on? All these childish people... why, those three girls- the redheads and the two blondes- must be nearly sixteen, and yet they were trading jokes like three-year-olds, giggling maniacally every few words. The redhead let out a particularly loud laugh, and everyone stared. That's more like it, he thought, those girls will surely be sent home- but soon everyone was back to their conversations. Finally, a stern-looking witch silenced them.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," she said. Severus listened closely. Perhaps she'd announce who'd be leaving, and he wasn't going to be one. He'd be a model student- or at least as close an imitation he could work up... Am I worthy to go here, he asked himself for the twenty-third time that day. I'll have to be, was his answer. He realized he hadn't been listening. Oh, now! My first mistake! I haven't been listening! He looked twitchily over his shoulders for other teachers who would take him by the arms and remove him.

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes, in front of the rest of the school," said the teacher. Of course, the worthy ones would be chosen in front of the others, because if you weren't going, you were nothing, you deserved to be ridiculed in front of the whole school.

He turned twitchily to see if teachers were watching, if they would decide who would stay and who would go, and bumped into a messy-haired boy, short, so Snape assumed that he was also a first year. I'll talk to him, and find out what I have to be like. Surely he's no dunderhead-

"Oh, sorry," said the messy-haired boy. Polite, be polite...

Severus shook his head. "It's alright." Introduce yourself... "I'm Severus Snape," offer to shake hands, Severus held out his hand. The short boy shook his hand.

"I'm James Potter," he said. The boy was looking at Severus strangely. Have I done something wrong already, Severus thought.

A taller, handsome boy- clearly a member of the House of Black, asked, "Who's this?"

A Potter and a Black- two good, pureblood families... perhaps they will be my classmates, Severus thought.

"This is Severus," the Potter boy introduced him. "This is Sirius Black-"ah, I thought so! "Remus Lupin-" pureblood, but not rich... "And Peter Pettigrew."

Well the three are all from good, pureblood families- not a muggle relation in the lot- but who's Pettigrew? Is it polite to ask? What if it's some powerful pureblood family I've forgotten? They'll know I'm a dunderhead and shun me for the rest of my life, and they teaches will hear, and when the sorting time comes I'll be sent home- but I have to know. Severus finally asked-

"Pettigrew... I've never heard that name before."

"Th-that's because I'm a-a-a" he thinks hard to remember some word," M-muggle born," he squeaks, sounding the word out!

Severus was in shock. Here were three of the noble pure blood family's children- consorting with a Mudblood! His father spoke often of that vile race- almost as bad as their Muggle forbears, they were stupid, evil, unimaginative, pre-historic humans barely worthy of being called 'intelligent'- they couldn't even do magic! Imagine! Clearly an inferior race...

"A Mudblood! Potter, you shouldn't hang out with such filth as Mudbloods."

"Or maybe I shouldn't hang out with you," he says coldly. Am I really that- No, he has no judgment of any kind. Surely I am at least better than a Mudblood. They have no proper wizard families- "C'mon guys,"

and the foursome go away- Well, Severus thought, He'll realize his error soon enough. Pity, I liked him, but now he'll surely be sent away- befriending a Mudblood and shaming a pureblood-"

"They're ready for you," the professor said.

Severus walked with the rest of the kids and looked around the Great Hall. "When I call your name come up and you will be Sorted." That's all we have to do? Maybe my dad was right, Severus thought. This should be easy... "Black, Sirius." I bet he's in Slytherin with me, thought Severus to himself.

"GRYFFINDOR!" yelled the hat. What? What a disgrace to his family! Well, better than Hufflepuff, I suppose...

"Dooley, Michaela." A pretty blonde with curls walked up. She looked terrified. "GRYFFINDOR!" Severus watched the girl walk over to the table and take her seat next to the redhead and two blondes who were now calmed down and weren't telling jokes anymore.

If I'm not in Slytherin then I'll go home. And I hate home. I'm such a dunderhead… "Lupin, Remus." "Oh, no! I've done it again! What if they call my name and I don't go up?" he whispered to himself. "GRYFFINDOR!"

"Love, Devin," was put into Slytherin. Severus clapped with the Slytherin with yellow-sand hair looked at him strangely from the table nearest to him. He started when he heard "SLYTHERIN!" shouted again. Who? Who was made a Slytherin? Oh, no, what if I miss someone else? Maybe they were powerful!

"Snape, Severus." Severus was snapped back to reality. Well, here it goes... "Hmmm... not much confidence... Maybe Hufflepuff," the hat said to Severus. "No! Anything but Hufflepuff! Perhaps Slytherin..." Severus thought hopefully. "Yes, that should fit you right. Well then- SLYTHERIN!" It shouted the last part so everyone could hear. The Slytherin clapped while Severus took his seat. He made it! He was in Slytherin! He would send his new owl (A rather handsome barn owl his mother had purchased for him) to his parents to tell them the good news. Now all he needed to do was prove he wasn't a dunderhead to his dad.

As he looked down on the table, food started to appear and everyone started to eat. Well, first things first- let's make some friends. On one side of him a boy and a girl were talking about purebloods and muggleborns. "I don't think the muggleborns should be allowed. Maybe half bloods, but definitely not mudbloods," the girl was saying.

"Well, I think we should only keep in purebloods," the boy argued. Not a good way to make friends by taking sides, Severus said to himself.

On the other side two first year boys were talking about the Dark Arts. "It's the best subject," one boy said. "I just wish we could do it instead of protection against it," the other boy said.

"I agree. We should get to learn stuff like the Imperius Curse," Severus said.

"The what?"

"The Imperius Curse. It gives you total control of the curse's recipient."

"Wow!" said the first boy.

"You're making it up," said the other.

"No, seriously, my dad was talking about it-"said Severus.

"Prove it," said the girl.

"How?" asked Severus.

"Curse someone," she said, sitting back confidently.

"But it's a powerful dark curse-"started Severus.

"And you're too weak or too chicken to use it," concluded the girl.

"I'll use it," said Severus, "Tomorrow, before everyone's up. We'll find someone in the corridors to curse."

They were silent for the rest of the meal. After the last people had cleared their plates, Dumbledore stood. "Welcome, first years," he said, "And welcome back to those who have been here in previous years. Before bed, I have a few announcements. First, that our new Divination teacher is Professor Peters. She has graciously come all the way from America, where she taught choir in a muggle school."

A muggle school, thought Severus, stunned. She taught in a muggle school! What sort of-

But Dumbledore was speaking again. "Secondly, that the forest on the grounds is out of bounds to our students."

"Thirdly and lastly," said Dumbledore, "May we all have a good school year," people around Severus clapped. Severus remained silent. This school is going to the dogs, like my father said, he thought. Teachers that have taught muggles, Mudbloods mingling with good pureblood families, hah!

When it was clear they were excused, Severus went down to the dungeons with the other Slytherins. Following a prefect, they arrived at a blank wall. "Ambition," declared the Prefect, and they all filed in as the wall opened.

Severus wasted no time in the commons, but when straight up to the first year boys' dormitory, sitting on one of the four-posters with ebony wood and thick green hangings, he started to practice the Imperius Curse.

He remembered what his father had said about it. "The Imperius Curse takes a tremendous amount of will," Severus muttered, repeating what his father had said. "You must want to control, you must push your will over that of the other, you must want to control others-"I must want to control, he thought, control... A luckless fly was to be his first target. I will control you, I will, I have to, I'll prove I'm no dunderhead... prove it to myself here and now, you will do as I say! "Imperio!" he said again. I will control you- I will... I will... "Imperio... Imperio..." All right, fly, land on that suitcase... land, land land...

But the door opened just then and the fly zipped out. No, thought Severus.

"What're you doing?" asked the boy as he came in.

"Trying a spell," Severus grunted irritably.

"Hey, I didn't mean to offend you or anything," said the boy, holding up his hands defensively. Severus couldn't see what he looked like, as the lights were out. "Just trying to make a little conversation, you know?" he said. "Well, good night." The boy went to bed.

Severus pretended to sleep until all of the five beds were filled and snoring. Then he sat back up. I must do the Imperius Curse!

He could hear a second fly buzzing around the dormitory. "Imperio." He whispered.

You'll be mine, oh yes, and you'll do exactly as I say, for I'll be the one in control- "Imperio..." You'll do... as I say... Imperio... I'm... In... control... Imperio...

Severus Snape fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

We may need to lengthen ADotIA to AD&WotIA... me mum an' dad are considering buying some thing that regulates how many hours you're allowed on the internet. cries they can't take my internet away! I won't survive! I'll die! NOOOOOOO! Oh, anyways... I'm going to answer reviews from my other fanfics because I only have Severus and James. Anna has Harry, and I believe Beth is starting another one... Anyways, my two faithful reviewers (Erica and Megan) get... Hmmmm... Elven rings of power! Erica can have Elrond's and Megan can have Celeborn's... does Celeborn have one of the rings? I thought so... I'm not sure. And I can't look it up because I don't have my book... But I get Galadriel's! She's one of my favorite characters... Don't know why.

**Erica:** Yes, I liked the name for the Weird Sisters, too... and Robert does have to be my favorite character. Bobby O... he's just so cool! insanely I'm trying to think of more ways to bring him into the story... You can't cannibalize my character! NOOOO! Oh well, I know he doesn't get cannibalized... And yes, I do like our explanation of why Miss Peters is leaving. Yay! You were joking! I already knew that, but that's okay... And I'll tell them you said hi whenever we have our Harry Potter party... it's supposed to be at Anna's, but I don't know when she gets back from her vacation thing. (We never had a party. ( )

**Megan:** Yes, I like Mrs. Potter as well... Anna always thinks of funny ideas like that. Yes, your reviews are short, but I don't care as long as it's a review! And I always thought that Sirius would get all mad because of this stuff... he does when he's older, so why not now? I love writing Sirius as a first year! I just realized that the ad on the side of hotmail has a picture of Sirius! Freaky... Well I'm glad you liked it! You need to update, poppet. Of course, I shouldn't be talking...


	2. The Imperius Curse

Disclaimer: Wish I could say I own all this spiffy stuff… but I don't.

A/N 7-5 (2005): After much debating and procrastinating, I decided to start typing what we have written since our first ickle chapter. I have a little over 30 pages of handwritten stuff to type up, and most of it is smudged or ripped from being tossed back and forth at school… But on to typing!

**Chapter 2: The Imperius Curse**

Severus woke the next morning wwith someone shaking him. "Get up, don't you remember- you were going to prove to Sarah that you can do the Imperius Curse!"

Oh, no, his first dayh, and already he was in trouble. What had he been thinking? The Imperius Curse was powerful Dark magic- a dunderhead like him couldn't possibly-

"Get dressed, Sarah's waiting," said the boy.

Severus sighed. He might as well. No need to add coward to dunderhead as the words that best described him…

Once he had his school robes on, the boy pulled him up the spiral staircase to the common room. No one was there but the girl who had challenged him last night.

"Ready? Okay, now, we'll find you someone to show us the Imperius Curse on. Let's go." They left the common room through the blank wall, and, climbing out of the dungeons, wandered off in the direction of the Great Hall, then through the corridors. They were thoroughly lost now, and had surely been wandering for hours without seeing anyone, so Severus was hoping to get off, when a small voice squeaked, "Are you lost, too?" It was the Pettigrew boy… The mudblood...

"Who are you?" snapped Sarah.

"He's Pettigrew, a Mudblood," Severus spoke, glad for the chance to say something the girl didn't know.

"A Mudblood, eh? Well, that's better than we hoped. We'll use him," Sarah said.

"Use me for w-what?" Pettigrew squeaked.

"Peter Pettigrew," Severus said with gravity. "You are of an inferior race, Mudbloods, and have been soiling the young members of three perfectly good pureblood houses with your filth. Your punishments to be used as a practice target for spell casting. Perhaps now you will choose your friends more carefully, among other Mudbloods."

"He's chosen his friends fine." It was the Potter boy.

"We won't abandon him," said Black. They and the Lupin boy were standing, wands out, glaring at Severus.

"We don't care what kind of family he's got," announced Potter.

"I know a certain pureblood that isn't worthy to lick Peter's shoes," said Black contemptuously.

They're talking about me… they don't care if he's a Mudblood… they're defending the filthy Mudblood… and they say I'm not worthy to lick his shoes… "Imperio!" Severus roared, pointing his wand at Potter.

I'll control you… I'll make you crawl on the floor like the worm you are-

Potter's eyes went blank. "What did you do!" Sirius barked. "I'll get you-"

Severus's apprehension caused him to lose concentration. He found four wands pointed at his heart. The other Slytherins had run off. There was Black, looking livid, Lupin, covering him, Potter, still a bit dazed, Pettigrew, from his cowering position on the floor… Severus had no choice. He got out of there as fast as he could!

He ran as fast and far away as he could, far away from James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Up the stairs, knocking over a blond girl with braces. "Watch where you're going!"

He ran right into a picture.

"Oho! Come here and fight, you scurvy dog!" shouted a painting of a stout knight in armor, brandishing his sword at Severus as he continued to run.

Severus finally stopped running realizing that he'd gotten himself totally lost. "Where am I?"

"You're in the presence of Sir Cadogan, my young, greasy-haired lad."

"What! Why, you old git…"

"Old? GIT! You unwashed git! Begone!"

Just then an owl dropped a letter and a package. "A letter from dad. Oh, the joy. Well, good bye Sir Dunderhead," he said as he walked off (pretending to know where he was going). As he walked he read his letter from his father.

_Dear Dunderhead,_

_How can you learn in that pitiful school without your book?_

Severus didn't read further, instead he opened the package. It was his Standard Book of Spells Grade 1.

Why am I such a dunderhead? Severus kept asking himself this as he walked. When he looked up he saw that he had walked strait into the Great Hall. He quickly took his place at the Slytherin table.

"Here," a girl with red hair and blue eyes said as she gave Severus a slip of parchment.

"What's this?" asked Severus.

"Your classes, duh!"

Severus looked down at the parchment. It said 9:00- Transfiguration.

"I better go right away…" Severus muttered to himself. He grabbed a bite to eat an then went straight to his class.

As he walked and sat at the back of the class he saw some Ravenclaws were in the class. What are they doing here? thought Severus.

"Good morning, class. I'm Professor McGonagall. Now if you would all please turn to page 10 in your books. Your homework is on the board behind me. Get to work."

After transfiguration came History then Charms, and then finally Potions. Severus hurried down the hallway packed with sixth years. Then Severus bustled into the room, ran to the front, took his seat, and buried himself in his book.

"Well, well, I love to see my students early, but do you think next time you can walk, Mr. Snape?"

As Severus looked up he got a spine-tingling sensation. Severus had expected to see a strict teacher like Professor McGonagall, but instead he saw a drop-dead gorgeous 20-year-old with dirty blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes.

Thank you to everyone for your reviews! And yay more chapters!


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